Chocolate Stitchz

I found it true that “time flies when you’re having fun.” In recalling how painful 2007 was for me and a few people in my immediate network I realize how long it seemed to take to get to December 31st. I saw very quickly why “7” is seen as the number of completion (spiritual perfection) because so much seemed to be coming to an end for me that year. I never wanted to get to another year so badly in my life, but last year was certainly one that kept my journal full and my heart heavy. Now, here I am at the door of 2009 wondering why all the good times of 2008 had to fly by so quickly. I was told that the number “8” symbolizes new beginnings—a fresh start. Well I certainly feel that I was given a new beginning this year. I seemed to enter this year with a different kind of determination; a new perspective. The “stuff” I saw as valuable in 2007 were no longer important to me and I found myself more than willing to let go of the things (and people) I clung to in an effort to formulate my plans for how I thought my life should look. I gave up trying to be an over impressive people pleasing “princess” (as I’ve been called), accepted my reality as it stood and took responsibility for my role in getting me to here. There are moments in life designed to show you what you’re really made of and that force you to examine who you are, what you believe and why you’re running so feverishly in the opposite direction of your destiny. I found a lot of things in 2008 that I never thought I’d see, but most importantly I found myself. Not in the sense that “grown-ups” say to young silly teenagers to frustrate them and insult their intelligence, but in a deeper more meaningful way. I found that so much of who I knew myself to be was really what other people had convinced me of who I was. [Take a moment and let that process]… I respect the fact that perception is reality in so many ways, but one should always know how powerful it is to be able to know your real reality and have the ability to change “shapes” and manipulate what others perceive about you—especially when it is to your advantage. It has also become clear to me that not everyone is willing or ready to accept who you really are and would rather be able to shove your personality in a neat little mental box that is more convenient for their minds to process and, unfortunately, those people are more than likely family members that will always be around than acquaintances that can be purged from your social system. However, I have also learned that so much emotional growth can come from accepting people for who they present themselves as being and not wasting time and energy hoping for a different response than what you know you’re going to get from these people. That being said, I do believe in the power of prayer, but I also know that people change when they want to change—no sooner, no later—and in those cases sometimes the best suited prayer is for your own patience. Yes, I have certainly experienced the beginning of several new thought processes—a conception of sorts—and I can’t wait to see what 2009 has to say about what I'm ready to bring forth.